This sure is an interesting Valentines Day. I sprained my ankle last night at a young life event so today was spent sitting at my desk with an ankle double in size shooting with pain just sitting there, let alone hobbling to get my lunch or back to my car at the end of the day. After being there for an hour if you would have told me I would have lasted the 10 more I may not have believed you. But what am I gonna do about it? Made it home with a less than confident driving foot and laying down icing my entire bruised lower leg and foot tonight was the most relieving pain I have ever felt.
I can only remember 1 or 2 valentines days since early high school that I haven't taken a girlfriend out on and done all the hoopla. Honestly I look back and realize I could have done without all but one of them and that even though I am frustrated with living my life mostly by myself right now I realize where I'm at is just fine and whether its a couple years till I'm "ready" whatever that means, or a couple weeks it just really doesn't matter and worrying about myself for the past few months has been nothing short of depressing and degrading. I'm tired of feeling the most alone during and after church. I am tired of feeling like I'm wasting part of life and not living up to what a "Godly" guy is like. I am tired of thinking about myself.
My mind has been driving me crazy and all this time focusing on myself is killing my excitement and energy in life. I'm so ready to serve others and be apart of something greater and serve the Lord so fiercly I don't have time to care about what my church tells me I need to look like. I'm ready for adventure, I'm ready for challange, even more so than this cause being tired and half depressed all the time is just boring not hard.
I have been ready this book about the Israeli wall being built literally through Palentinian villages. It makes me so angry and hungry for justice for thousands of people who are having their homes land and freedom to even drive a car on a certain road taken away from them so some country can claim they are protecting themselves from terrorism. Hey Jews, heres and idea: stop stealing from people and imposing your predujice and oppression on the Palenstian people to take back your "Holy City". Yes Jerusalem is a historically importance place but it's not worth making regular human beings who happen to be Arab and on the "wrong" side of a fence or religious belief suffer because a very small minority of them are terrorists. You clearly don't know the Lord or understand you can be made more Holy no matter where you are in the world than any city through Christ.
This makes all the Religious scumbags in America who cry about the War on Religion in America look like a bunch of cry babies. Get over it, you live such a selfish easy life, just because people don't know Jesus yet (like you clearly don't) doesn't mean the Country is physically persecuting you.
The world is so messed up it makes me sick and ready to do not something, but everything about it. Jesus calls us to DIE to ourselves and follow him... not just be nice to people at church and help someone when it's convient for us or judge and fight others when their views are different than ours. I'm sick of putting on this show and feeling shame for decisions I regret. We have been given life to the fullest, we don't we want it?
"I fear that all my debts will be left unpaid
Feel like a cripple without a cane
I'm like a jack of all trades who’s a master of none
Then there's my Father, He's always looking on the bright side
He is the Grand Optimist
I am the world’s poor pessimist"
____
Brad
I can only remember 1 or 2 valentines days since early high school that I haven't taken a girlfriend out on and done all the hoopla. Honestly I look back and realize I could have done without all but one of them and that even though I am frustrated with living my life mostly by myself right now I realize where I'm at is just fine and whether its a couple years till I'm "ready" whatever that means, or a couple weeks it just really doesn't matter and worrying about myself for the past few months has been nothing short of depressing and degrading. I'm tired of feeling the most alone during and after church. I am tired of feeling like I'm wasting part of life and not living up to what a "Godly" guy is like. I am tired of thinking about myself.
My mind has been driving me crazy and all this time focusing on myself is killing my excitement and energy in life. I'm so ready to serve others and be apart of something greater and serve the Lord so fiercly I don't have time to care about what my church tells me I need to look like. I'm ready for adventure, I'm ready for challange, even more so than this cause being tired and half depressed all the time is just boring not hard.
I have been ready this book about the Israeli wall being built literally through Palentinian villages. It makes me so angry and hungry for justice for thousands of people who are having their homes land and freedom to even drive a car on a certain road taken away from them so some country can claim they are protecting themselves from terrorism. Hey Jews, heres and idea: stop stealing from people and imposing your predujice and oppression on the Palenstian people to take back your "Holy City". Yes Jerusalem is a historically importance place but it's not worth making regular human beings who happen to be Arab and on the "wrong" side of a fence or religious belief suffer because a very small minority of them are terrorists. You clearly don't know the Lord or understand you can be made more Holy no matter where you are in the world than any city through Christ.
This makes all the Religious scumbags in America who cry about the War on Religion in America look like a bunch of cry babies. Get over it, you live such a selfish easy life, just because people don't know Jesus yet (like you clearly don't) doesn't mean the Country is physically persecuting you.
The world is so messed up it makes me sick and ready to do not something, but everything about it. Jesus calls us to DIE to ourselves and follow him... not just be nice to people at church and help someone when it's convient for us or judge and fight others when their views are different than ours. I'm sick of putting on this show and feeling shame for decisions I regret. We have been given life to the fullest, we don't we want it?
"I fear that all my debts will be left unpaid
Feel like a cripple without a cane
I'm like a jack of all trades who’s a master of none
Then there's my Father, He's always looking on the bright side
He is the Grand Optimist
I am the world’s poor pessimist"
____
Brad
